6

We were supposed to have pancakes to celebrate my birthday and Easter. We were going to fete the rising of Jesus from the dead, the rising of another digit in my age, me still very much alive. We code named it Pandemicakes.

I don’t celebrate Easter, but I had already Lentenly given up many things since B.C. — Before Coronavirus. Like my Catholic friends, I understand why it must be, so instead of dwelling in what I miss, I prefer to revel in what I’ve gained (starting with two pounds).

My math has always sucked but the Pandemic Theorem seems pretty simple: -(thing you love about normal life but probably take for granted) + (amazing thing you might otherwise not have thought of) x (love love love) = infinite gratitude as constant as π.

And that’s how I calculated the probability of the Coronavirus taking Pandemicakes away, but dropping four pizzas unto my lap, sent from the erstwhile Pandemicakes hosts. They were not Panpizzas, but crispy New York-style sourdough ones: Veggie Supreme and Meat Lovers at lunch, Four Cheese and Chicken Sausage/Mushroom/Onion for dinner. As soon as the magic cardboard lids were thrown open on the first delivery, I ate three slices in succession with sanitized hands. I couldn’t stop. I kept chowing down these gorgeous carbaceous discs that complete the circle of life. They were so good, and even better because they were ordered and selflessly sent to spread piquant piety upon our palates.

It must’ve been kismet that the resurrection of Jesus was observed with the gospel of John’s Pizza, one of our go-tos in Singapore for fine pies - I mean, they’re the namesake of the apostle Christ loved best, the one who stuck with him at the bottom of the cross until the very end. Instead of a one-off falling from heaven, this manna is hand-tossed daily, so that the crust is airy and crisp. The toppings are fresh and bountiful, not lazy pluckings from something vacuum-sealed. John’s pizza is what you should be during Circuit Breaker - keeping and holding it together in your box. The only ingredients preserved are your dignity, sanctity and thankfulness. Thou shalt covet.